Thursday, February 9, 2012

Little Girl Dreams

To say it has been a while would be a putting it gently. Nine months have passed since I stuffed my suitcases to the brim, said tearful goodbyes to the people I have loved and shared life with for two years, and boarded a flight back to the US. In the past nine months I have found myself in a life that is completely unexpected and drastically different then anything I have experienced so far... I have a job, an apartment, I am in the United States, I pay my own bills... Seems as though I'm an adult! Imagine that!

All joking aside, I am loving [almost] every moment of living and teaching in Charlotte. :) My job is challenging, yet so undeniably rewarding. I am growing professionally more and more each day. I have had the opportunity to use my abilities and experiences in dance and theater to do the choreography for my school's Show Choir and our musical, The Wizard of Oz! Outside of work, I have been richly blessed with friendships that bring such joy and encouragement. I have nested into my own little apartment, and decorating my own place was everything I hoped it would be (I'll get some pictures posted asap)! Life is good, God is good! It has not all been easy- I've struggled with fatigue, loneliness and heartache, but I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be for this season. It's not where I ever expected to be, but I am overwhelmingly thankful to be here.

In my absence from the blogging world, I felt like I was in a time of settling in. I was settling into a new home, a new job, a new ministry, a new direction. To be honest, I haven't known what direction my life would take. I still don't. My ministry right now is teaching and pouring into my students. Each day is a new adventure with them, but I am still left with a very slight but ever-present restlessness deep down in the depths of my heart. I believe that teaching is my passion and my gifting, but I am still praying about what that exactly means. Does it mean that I get to live in this fabulous city on a beautiful lake and show my suburban kiddos the love of Christ through my actions in the classroom? Right now, yes.

Right now. I am trying to enjoy each moment. I am humbled and honored to receive such a noble calling. This is what I dreamed of doing ever since I was a little girl. This was my little girl dream, and I am living it. Yet what I am learning is that sometimes our "little girl (or boy) dreams" are not our God-given destinies! (Thank you Beth Moore) For some of us, that is a good thing- I think about a dear friend of mine who, as a little boy, wanted to be a firetruck when he grew up. Thankfully God had different things in store for him! Other times we wonder why our dreams can't come true. My little girl dream was to be a teacher, wife and mother. That doesn't seem like too much to ask, and maybe I will be all those things, but more than any of them, I want my God-given destiny! We all have one, and it may seem to be poor timing, or feel like an unreasonable expectation, or leave you with unanswered questions, but oh, what an honor to be able to glorify the LORD of ALL with our lives!

The Lord is stirring something new inside of me. I feel excited and nervous and inadequate. I still don't know all that the future holds, and I don't quite have any clear direction to share with you, but new ideas are forming. I don't have it all together, but I decided that tonight was the night to begin blogging again in an attempt to reconnect with beloved friends and family, and be transparent about the work that God is doing in my heart and life.

To God be the glory, now and forever!

Amen!

Love from across the miles,

2 comments:

  1. I can see the dream God gave you since you were a little girl. You are a great teacher with so much enthusiasm it is contagious. Was just looking at a picture of Luke and Mark in tap class with you. Thank you for the years you gave SMCA we are indebted to you so very much. Love to hear you adjusting so well and being both blessed and a blessing in Charlotte.

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  2. Yesterday I saw your CUTE profile pic come up on facebook and thought to myself "Hey! What ever happened to her blog..." Now, here you are posting again! I'm glad..love your insight!

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