Today I don't have many of my own words for you, but I wanted to share something from C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity. This passage really hit home for me because I have seen it happen time and time again in my own life. This quote addresses what can often happen when we begin to grow in the Christian life... we begin to see the rats in the cellar...
"We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about what we are. This may sound rather difficult, so I will try to make it clear from my own case. When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected: I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself. Now that may be an extenuating circumstance as regards those particular acts: they would obviously be worse if they had been deliberate or premeditated. On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul.
Now that cellar is out of reach of my conscious will. I can to some extent control my acts. I have no direct control over my temperament. And if (as I said before) what we are matters even more than what we do-- if, indeed, what we do matters chiefly as evidence of what we are-- then it follows that the change which I most need to undergo is a change that my own direct, involuntary efforts cannot bring about. And this applies to my good actions too. how many of them were done for the right motives? How many for fear of public opinion, or a desire to show off? How many from a sort of obstinacy or sense of superiority which, in different circumstances, might equally had led to some very bad act? but I cannot, by direct moral effort, give myself new motives. After the first few steps in the Christian life we realize that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done ONLY by God."
I have many rats in my cellar. The more I grow, the more I recognize them. They are ugly and I have allowed them to feed and grow for years. I cannot kill them on my own.
Something that someone said to me once that really stuck with me was this, "In this life we will never be without sin, but the goal is to recognize your sin faster and turn from it faster." It is by the help of the Holy Spirit that we can do this.
So those are some thoughts (Clive's thoughts) for the day.
Hope you're having a super-duper Wednesday!
Such beauty! Once we got settled in, we meet in the garden for a time of sharing what God has been doing in our lives. We did this by tossing a ball of yarn to each person as they shared. At the end we had a web of yarn in the center of the circle. Beth shared that if one person was to let go of their yarn, then all of the other strands will still hold up their string. This is the beautiful thing about community and the body of Christ. When one person is struggling, the rest of the body is there to support them and lift them up. All day Sunday I felt the strength of these women encouraging me, challenging me, and lifting me up. 
